Dabs News – Revisiting 1983
One of our founder members, James (Jimmy) Skuse, was also the original scribe. He liked to drink as much as he like to write, and he liked to do both at the same time. Have a read of a Dabs News from over 40 years ago; beyond the obvious likepre-digital, people and prices much has changed, but there is also much that remains the same…
THE WORST DABULAMANZI NEWSLETTER EVER
Greetings again fellow paddlers,
Time to put your brain into neutral again and negotiate another noxious, nauseating navigation through a nonsensical newsletter. Take heart however for this is the last cunning, concoction concerning canoeing coming compulsorily, condemned, contrived and corrected from this corrupt correspondent. (Alliteration is such fun.) It is with deep regret that I must inform my vast readership that I have answered the call of the sea and as such am retiring to Amanzimtoti as from 20 November 1983 to take up permanent residence in this hospitable little hamlet. To all my loyal readers “thank you”, you have both been very supportive throughout my term of office as chief scribe. And now to more weighty matters such as Don Southey’s regular coaching course, what the committee has been up to this year and Dabulamanzi’s Dazzling Dinner-Dance.
DINNER-DANCE AND PRIZE-GIVING (22 November 1983)
The annual prize-giving will take place on 22 November 1983 at Old Edwardians. The cost of this dinner-dance will be R24 per couple. Only a limited number of tickets are available +/- 100) and bookings will be made on a first come first serve basis. This is an opportunity to meet and get to know some of the other paddlers at the Club and to build a bit of Club spirit (which gauging by Thursday night time trials is in pretty good shape already). An added attraction is Metro Balding Meyer Steyn who will definitely not be showing his movies.
So if you will excuse my last indulgence in alliteration, I would urge one and all to attend the festivities of Dabulamanzi’s Dazzling Dinner-Dance and Disco where Double Don will delight da dames and dancing dumpiesdeliver da dads dead drunk. (Dis guys demented!)
ESKIMO ROLLING COURSE (10 November 1983)
It has come to the notice of the committee that whereas a large proportion of the newer members and some not so new members (such as Geoff Matthews and Andrew Goetsche) while having perfected the first half of the Eskimo Roll are having difficulty with the second, and, some say, more important other half. At great expense and cost in reputation the Committee in its misguided wisdom appointed Metro Balding Meyer (that well known film producer) to attend a course in Eskimo Rolling and to disseminate such knowledge gleaned, amongst the poor unfortunates who seem to spend a large proportion of their time examining the abundant fish life on the bottom of Emmarentia Dam. At the last course held Meyer had only two pupils, both of whom learned to roll, in one way or another. This is no mean coaching feat on Meyer’s part as exactly one half of that class consisted of none other than your’s truly, who was later to become known as “seunvan die rol.” An Eskimo Roll should not be confused with an Eskimo Pie. An Eskimo Roll is what an Eskimo does to upright his capsized canoe. An Eskimo Pie is what you find in his canoe if he fails to upright it. These little mementos of unsuccessful Eskimo Rolls can be purchased from ‘good humour’ vendors on the banks of Emmarentia Dam. (Now that the truth is out we can expect ice-cream sales to plummet).
It is a little known fact that there are a large number of different types of Eskimo Rolls some of which I will attempt to describe.
Other popular forms of the Eskimo Roll include the “Swiss Roll” favoured by “cakes”, the “Bank Roll” executed on the river bank where the paddle is substituted by a spade; the “casserole” which if not executed correctly could get one in a stew and many others. For a full list and coaching in performing these interesting manoeuvres please attend the coaching course on Thursday 10 November. Meyer may even demonstrate the “Hand Roll” which is performed without a paddle and is usually done to the accompaniment of the “Canoeist’s Prayer”.
REGULAR TRAINING COURSE
Don Southey or “Double Don” (as he is affectionately knowby people who know him) will be holding regular coaching courses every Tuesday evening. Don’s credentials as a coach are impeccable and he has coached many of Natal’s top canoeists in all aspects of canoeing. So if you feel your style is wrong or you have any questions about training see Don on Tuesday evenings.
CANOES FOR SALE
There is a tremendous demand for second hand canoes and these are usually sold before the Newsletter appears. So to save time and aggravation potential sellers are asked to advertise their rip-off’s on the notice board in the wooden hut below the control tower at the dam. Two potential buyers keen to be ripped off are Ken Rankin at 706-3461 (who is looking for a Sabre or Sellar) and Shane Corty at 337-3841 (W) and 706-1663 (H) who is looking for a fox-bat or similar double.
CLUB NIGHTS
Remember 3 November. Rob Gandy will be giving a talk on the Duzi Marathon with tips on how to train for it and race strategies. Rob has a very good Duzi record which includes a number of placings in the top 10 and a 3rd in the singles. This is a must for Duzi novices and can be very helpful even to the veterans, remember the course has changed this year and Rob will be discussing these changes.
The following Club Night will be on Thursday 1 December when, Bruce Clark and Meyer Steyn will be giving a pre-race talk on the Jukskei Marathon, which takes place on 3 and 4 December, and the crocodile river in general. So for anyone who wants to know about that delectable little sewer/spruit in our back-yard this talk is a must.
RECENT RACE RESULTS
Dabulamanzi’s A Team stormed into a second place in the recent interclub canoe relay. The A Team was made up of John Smuts, Brian Longley and the Terrible Twins Eric and Jorisa. Dabulamanzi’s tactics of laying its high strategic points paid off handsomely when both Niels and Andrew Venter were snared. This had such a psychological shock on the rest of the Wits Team that they ‘blew’ completely. The other Dabulamanzi teams faired quite well and a special vote of appreciation to all those Club members who participated and helped in the organisation especially the Chairman who didn’t fail in while placing the marking bouys.
The recent “Ox Race” also saw our paddlers doing well with Eric and Jorisa Claeys just pipping John Rhynes and Jimmy Skuse into third place. This flagrant disrespect by our Juniors for their Seniors is getting out of hand and strong disciplinary measures may be expected (like relegating the seniors to juniors and promoting the Juniors to Seniors). John Smuts finished 2nd in the race and has undoubtedly stamped his mark on our Club as “numero-uno”. Tracy Robb and ‘Stalk’ Needham did vil in the mixed doubles which was won by Leon Tieleman paddling for Dabulamanzi and his sister Theresa. Don Southey romped home in 3rd last position to the tumultuous applause of one of the organisers who hadn’t gone home yet and a good day was had by all.
In the recent SAB Croc. Marathon Eric Claeys paddled into 1st Junior position and 3rd overall being beaten only by Springbok canoeists Niels Verkerk and Pierre van der Merwe who won the race. Joris Claeys paddled in the Senior White water class while won, while Hildegard Muller won the Junior White water section. Tracy Robb finished 2nd lady home in her White Water and John Rhynes is expected in, in the near future. In the singles Rob Gandy finished 4th, Meyer Steyn 6th, Gerhard Steyn 8th and Jimmy Skuse 9th. This gave Dabulamanzi 5 paddlers in the first 10 singles.
S.A. SPRINTS
The S.A. Sprint championships were held on 30 September and 1 October at Roodeplaat Dam. Dabulamanzi does not have a strong sprinting team and we were represented by only 3 paddlers. However, those members fared well and gained the following places.
Leon Tieleman won the Senior B 500M K2 partnered by Andre van der Merwe from VDBs;
Brian Longley and John Smuts won the Senior B 10 000m K2; and
John Smuts won the Senior B 10 000m K1 with Brian Longley placed 3rd.
COMMITTEE NEWS
A large number of club members are under the misconception that the Committee are a bunch of egotistical, beer swilling megalomaniacs whose sole function is to, enjoy uproarious Committee meetings and hilarious TCU (Transvaal Canoe Union) meetings while the plight of Homo CanoepiansDabulamanzis (a sub-specie of Homo Canoepians) goes unnoticed. This is not so, and to correct these misconceptions I would like to point out that TCU meetings are not at all funny, otherwise the above is a pretty fair reflection of the Committee. Some of the projects under the Committee’s management at present are a rewriting of the Club constitution (Mike Stafford); the building of 5 Polo-boats (whole Committee); the organisation of races (e.g. the Club Relay and Jukskei Marathon for which sponsorship must be sought); the finalizing and printing of a new club logo for ties, badges and T-shirts; the running of time trials (Mark Clutey who is also our chief pyromaniac) negotiating with irrate farmers for river access during races; administering Club funds (John Rhynes) and trying to maintain cordial ties with the Yacht Club and the irrigation of a new species invading the DabulamFloflifers Winsourferus, who are threatening to overrun the place. All in all there is a lot of activity behind the scenes and we are even trying to get a boat-house built. If there is anything that you feel you can help the Committee with (other than the beer-swilling) please come forward and offer your help.
DATES TO REMEMBER
J.C.C. CHALLENGE
A little known canoe club secreted away between the mounds of Johannesburg mine dumps have had the utter temerity to challenge our illustrious club to a down river race on the Crocodile River, points to be awarded for number of finishers and best positions. Your esteemed Committee has condescended to accept this come-uppance of a challenge as we think it will be good training for our canoeists and may afford the JCC paddlers a chance to learn something about the finer points of canoeing. We would obviously like to enter as big a contingent as possible and swamp out this minor Club for its impertinence, so may we please have your full support for this race the exact details of which you will be notified by post or our new efficient carrier-pigeon system.
LATE ENTRIES – CANOES FOR SALE
Joris Claeys – Tel. 678-5375 has the following boats to sell.
Highline Jaguar – R210
Typhoon (Double) – R200
Glider (Double) – R120
2 tired Sabres which need some work but would then be good for tripping • R60 for the two.
POST SCRIPT
Well, its with sad heart and fond memories I lay my pen down as your official scribe. If you have enjoyed your Newsletters half as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them then you’re probably also pissed.
Adios Homo Canoeipians Dabulamanzius
JIMMY SKUSE
I am sure that all Dabulamanzi members will join me in wishing Huni and Jimmy Skuse everything of the best in their new home in Bananaland. They have been loyal club supporters almost from the time of formation of DBMCC and we will sorely miss their contribution. All the best Jimmy and Huni for you and the lightweight – we hope to see you from time to time at the annual migration.
B.E. LONGLEY
Back to Today and the Future
Jimmy and Huni didn’t last too long in Toti, they came back to Joburg about 25 years ago and then moved to Brenton on Sea about 3 years ago, but they still miss Dabs and we believe they are visiting Pete O’Connor in early June so we may well see them back in a boat and/or the bar in the near future.
Till next time – Go Dabs