The year the paddling stories were drowned by the party chatter…
A few years back when WhatsApp chat groups had got popular, but long before the delete option became a thing, invites were sent out: “The Inaugural Masonic Reloaded Party. Rugby is at 5pm (SA vs NZ), so this gives us time to settle in and get greased up. After rugby 🏉 the fun and games of Masonic activities of past (watch this space 😈), will be re-introduced!? Venue is the Cradock Club, a fine institution where only best behavior is tolerated, not. Bring your personalities and your A-game, otherwise be prepared to be to face our fines master, Scatter…. you have been warned 💪. There will be plenty of good Karoo meat and ice cold ❄ beers. Regards the committee.”
Brad Breetzke, Keith Flemmer, Grant Pollock and others flew down, this was billed on the chat group as “Pre-Masonic resting” although not all who flew rested. Flem Dog couldn’t not share and posted: “Polly just joined the mile high club. The joy of youth.”
Others like Graham Neate, with no pity for the plebs, happily sent pictures of the few who flew first class on Air Lieth, while Scatter sent rude messages: “Poor little sausages must be so tired.” We don’t think he was referring to Pollys piece, although perhaps he was – anyway, Scatter did later show us who he really is…
Down on the ground, Dave Hamilton Brown was very proud of his efforts to promote the party: “This is the final artwork that’s going on all the banners, boats and bakkies” he posted, for which he then got some abuse: “WTF, Dabs colours are blue you p….” / “Cool – Free WiFi?” / “That sux”, but he was not perturbed: “The tension is mounting for the Masonic Fish Party 🎉 Saturday seems so far ……. away.”
Ham Brown was even abused about his build with Perrow chirping: “Ham that body does not look like its good enough to pull Macca the 🐳 to the finish.” Steve Jourdan was one of the few who had something positive to say, offering him his dream job: “AdReach needs you as a rigger.”
With all the noise on the Dabs groups some of those who stayed home offered advice: “Watch out for the bridges, the rocks and the Masonic” posted Peter O’C. Fish told us he was in bed and blamed his daughter: “I think I got Swine Flu” and then complained about the lack of sympathy: “Tough school this” he lamented. Purchy got sad and ducked: “Guys. There’s too much fomo – I have to remove myself. Paddle hard and party well.”
To which the response was: “Two more sleeps 🛏 for the MRP. Don’t paddle too hard……..keep plenty in the tank for Day Three, def the toughest & most technical. Remember helmets, burn kits and birthday suits) 🙏………….Scatter is watching 📸. The Committee.”
In town, days before the main event, some couldn’t wait to wear their trendy two tone shirts, (the product of Rob Levick) and posted pics to show us how smart they looked…
To which the Hamster responded: “Ladies and gents….. this is meant to be a rest day, but clearly the Pre-Masonic Reloaded ‘dry’ run is running at full tilt already. Clearly some excited 😜 patrons……..😂.”
Then there were more messages and even pins “URGENT NOTICE: There seems to be some confusion of the venue for the Masonic Party. It’s not at the site of the old hotel on the Main Street but is at the CRADOCK CLUB more commonly known as the “Gentleman’s Club”. Which is on Dundas Street.” So everyone went there on the Thursday night….
The launch of our shirts resulted in Moolies (and some Karoo farmers) wanting to know: “What kind of two-tone is that?” Anyways, things got busy, and things were anything but ‘dry’ at the Club …
Flem Dog and Flem Pup were also very busy. They proudly showed everyone a clock in the club that was donated by Andreas Salvatore Flemmer, a distant relative with a little plaque bearing their name. As a special treat, the Dog and the Puppy gave all the girls a chance to touch the big Flemmer clock for good luck…. and they were so proud to post pictures with cringeworthy captions: “Another beautiful girl touching the Flemmer c(l)ock” and “Another night and another toucher.” Naughty boys – and girls – were everywhere that weekend…
Alex shared pics of the Hamster putting up his posters all over the place and plastering his stickers on everything he could find including one on the lucky draw, which bought some praise from Belkie: “Hamster – you are a beautiful creature 🤣🤣”.
The Gentleman’s Club then got lots more Dabs support on the Friday evening – with more of the same faces….
Finally the day of the real party dawned, and the messaging flowed: “Morning all Masonicas. Hank & Andy are just about to start Day Two, but most of us have finished Day Two and are about to start Day Three……. Game plan for later is a 4pm start time…… till very late. Rugby 🏉 is at 5pm. See you all later.”
But that post wasn’t quite right, as the party started much earlier at the Cradock Weir: “We’re assembling!!!” posted Levick, and asking “Will Otto be at the weir ?????????” with more pleas from Polly: “Ham, we need you here!!” What they really wanted was Otto – Ham’s overly large beat box. “Are you guys already there – Otto is coming” replied Ham.
Morgan Ziervogel shared dozens of pics of the boys and girls warming up at the weir:
The only posts about the race itself were forwards from Fish on his sickbed: “Hank and Andy are together bound to shoot Cradock” / “Kiko and Brandon broke out, Brandon fell at Craddock now Kiko is third” / “Seko fell, Clinton 5th and seko 6th”/ “Hank and Andy thru Cradock … must be finishing” to which he got no replies. Everyone at the weir was too busy laughing at Bryan the Breakdancer – with lots of pics posted by Cath Steere.
Ham invited all the real racing snakes to the party: “Hank and Andy. Your presence is required at the Masonic” – some made it there, others didn’t, perhaps because we were not at the Masonic.
Later that day, most made it to the Gentleman’s Club and Chris Van Reenen shared this iconic pic:
The rugby was watched; the Springboks were very unlucky to lose 30-32, but that didn’t dampen the party spirit.
There was some drinking and some dancing. And some more touching of the clock.
The fines master Bryan Slater did his thing – and the pictures shared resulted in Wayne saying: “Amazing likeness” while Polly echoed Wayne with the question: “same same?” which Scatter later confirmed with his comment: “Same same.”
As is a Dabs thing – the shirts came off. Hank shared a selfie on the group with the caption “Animal Ham !!!!” while others shared pics of shirtless old men and a Kudu shirt rack.
The day after Polly posted: “Beast has finally been tamed” which got responses like “🤢 🤮” from Macca and “Broken” from Flem Dog.
It wasn’t just bodies and boats that were broken, as Brad Breetzke reported: “Good news – The club is very happy with us, they broke all previous turnover records. Bad news, their trophy was broken by someone. Please can you own up to settle a repair job (I paid a deposit). They have cameras….”
Fish was still busy on his phone: “GOD-SPEED home all Reload Survivors. 🚣🚣♂🤩👹😡🤢… Looks like you guys have started one hell of an event. Still sick with Swine Flu. Looked awesome. When you look from a distance you see what a great club Dabs is.”
Macca confirmed that Dabs is quite a club: “Thanks all 👍🏼👏🏼👌🏼👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼🍺🍺. Well done Dabs… it was awesome to see my old club firing on all cylinders like that!!! As the sole member of Eshowe canoe club, I can safely say that your club is better than mine 😂😂😂💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼👍🏼👍🏼”
As did Steve J: “The best in the universe.”
After lots abuse in the beginning, Ham got some positive comments from the likes of Levick: “Thanks for an awesome skop Hammy and co!!! Too much fun!!!” and Wayne: “Thanks Hammy for a great party! 👍🏻” and Scatter: “Haminator the eternal enthusiast. What a success for Dabs and a display of gees to beat all others.”
People then started to leave the group, but Scatter still threw in some chirps: “I hope the miserable CSA Secretary General gives us a mention in his next newsletter.” (There were no accolades; instead Washy had to write a letter of apology because Dabs hadn’t supported the official Fish party, plus we had hijacked theirs with all of the advertising – ooops.)
A few weeks later Levick shared a picture from East London, which made Ham happy: “Classic……..Masonic Reloaded lives on…… 😜”
So, is it time to reload, or is it impossible to repeat?
Till next time – Go Dabs